You Don’t Just Heal from Sexual Abuse — You Have to Clear It

Do you know what it’s like to not feel safe in your own body?

To lie in bed at night and wonder if it will happen again.

To fall asleep not in peace but in terror. Not knowing if you will wake up to horror.

For a long time, I didn’t know what it felt like to be safe. Every night felt uncertain and risky. Going to bed had never felt restful. Being in the same house with other people didn’t feel safe at all.

Sleeping alone was the first and only time I actually felt safe. For a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me for feeling that way. But looking back, I realise it was the trauma from the abuse.

Even after many years had passed, the fear was still in my body. The memories didn’t go away even though my mind had shut them off. This is something I see often in people who have gone through abuse. They don’t remember much from the past because the trauma blocks it. They are too painful to recall.

This letter is for anyone who has gone through sexual abuse, or knows someone who has. Whether it happened once or many times, whether it was spoken about or kept hidden.

Sexual abuse is not just a past event. It’s a disease-causing tragedy that buries itself into your system, into your…