Busy Buzzing Vs Busy Digging

I thought by eliminating TV shows, movies, some social medias; by eating less and getting closer to my Vision Quest mission, I would find MORE free-time.

What I found instead after about 3 months now was: too much work with too little time!

Looking back on the good old days, I wondered how in the world did I get to find time talking to many people at a time or scrolling through social media newsfeed almost every single day or attending social events.

The last time I watched TV was in 2018. When I stopped watching TV and online movies, I discovered so many other important things to do that I wondered how did I manage to find all those time to watch random TV shows or movies?

When I deprived myself from Facebook, Instagram and most recently my smartphone, my to-do list surprisingly grew longer each day. This to-do list mainly comprised projects to do and activities to explore but a large part of it was not new. They came from my older “to-do lists” that had been unconsciously stored somewhere in my brain.

This was not how I visualised my VQ life would be. I thought my life would be quieter after eliminating more than half of my lifestyle and habits. I thought I would be able to post articles here at least once a week. But what happened now was I started becoming ‘busy’ again.

So today, I decided to take a break just to re-evaluate and reflect on this.

“Focusing on your work requires not only a shutting off from the external world, but the internal world as well”.

That’s what I got.

To focus on my life’s work, I knew I needed to stop buzzing around in the external world. But once I stopped buzzing, a lot of things I intended to do or accomplish in the past came showing up one after another.

I became “busy” again but this time instead of busily buzzing around, I was busy digging into my mind, trying to declutter, re-organised, and recover “neglected intentions.”

To get to the core of my being where focused work can be manifested without distraction, I needed to manoeuvre my entire life into a deep meditative state.

And to achieve that, I had to really stop buzzing and start digging.

Buzzing around in the external world is fun. You feel useful and productive.

But when you’ve been called to turn within, being mentally and physically busy with the external world is like running in circles.

It brings you nowhere no matter how accomplished you feel.

Aimless routine.

On the other hand, digging into yourself won’t be as fun. It’s a journey you can only do alone. If you are not someone who enjoys being alone, it would take time and a lot of willpower but unlike buzzing where you only make noise, digging brings you to the core of your being.

In the process, you will have to first meet the clutter within and perhaps some unprocessed “waste” to be decluttered and eliminated before you reach the silent core and get to finally:

FOCUS.

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